My husband Jose died at home on February 1, 2024. His transition to death was just like how he lived, sweet and tender. One day in September 2024 there was something I wanted to tell him and I stopped myself thinking “Oh wait, I can’t because he is not here”. Then I realized that I could tell him, because he is here. I document what I want to tell him so I don’t forget these moments of noticing, remembering and connecting. The Trail Magic page is devoted to appreciation of those folks along the way who have offered moments of generosity, inspiration or unexpected wonder.
We experienced a great deal of trauma within the U.S. healthcare system.
Grief and trauma are not the same thing.
Trauma is dehumanizing and immobilizing.
Grief is humanizing and healing.
Trauma isolates me from myself and separates me from others.
Grief creates intimacy — with myself and with others.
I want to release the veil of trauma and hold sorrow close to my heart.
These writings bring me to that place of aliveness and intimacy cultivated through grief.
Posts
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Love in the Trenches
September 10, 2024 I Want to Tell You…That I am sorry I was so hard. This old blog post keeps rolling through my consciousness: The Good, The Bad & The Beautiful June 16, 2009, 3:25 AM On April 15 Jose had the blackout and fall and CT scan revealing the giant tumor. Since that time…
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Into the Light
September 22, 2024 I want to tell you that grief can just fall in your lap—seemingly out of nowhere. Driving just a few short blocks to a Bahá’í meeting on a sunny morning, I was suddenly overwhelmed with tears, by your resilience, and by how much you love to make people laugh. No matter how…
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Three Little Birds
September 19, 2024 I want to tell you “Don’t Worry About a Thing”—because every little thing really is alright. That song was a staple of our living-room sing-alongs and dance parties, and it even became part of your physical therapy. As you declined, the song’s slow, steady pace was something you could keep up with.…
I Want to Tell You 